Recently, I've been getting a lot of funky vibes and stink-eyes from individuals about the passions that I hold near and dear to my heart along with the things that I enjoy doing: all centered around having an abundant life and my reasons for happiness (even if they're somewhat temporary). Normally I don't give two hoots what negative unimportant people think and I rarely care to give such people an ounce of my time. Well this is certainly not an explanation of my actions, it's more of a big Orange Road Sign saying beware of the big-ass pothole that is about to bust your tires up ahead!!!
What some of these stink-eyed people don't realize is that what makes my life fullfilling may not hold the same value and definition as what is meaningful in their life (and why would I expect it to?). Hey, if you enjoy feeding your pet turtle on odd days of the week, and prefer to watch reruns of horribly edited reality TV-shows, then so be it, I'm not gonna knock your meaning of a fulfilling life. My ultimate goal in life is to lay in my deathbed and say, "Yup, hell ya I loved the life I lived." For me to accomplish this goal, I must rid myself of all the douchebaggery!!!
So to better understand me and my "Don't Be a Douchebag" Rule...we must first define what a Douchebag is...
A Douchebag... can be of any gender or age- the characteristics of douchebaggery does NOT discriminate. Trust me, I've had a few run-ins with male and female douchebags, young and old, obviously the packaging is different but the stench is quite similar and can be detected a few hundred yards away. (Hence, the name) They can also be family members, friends, acquaintances, used-to-be friends, and admirers from afar.
A Douchebag... is completely oblivious of their own misery because they are so preoccupied with what is going on with your life and will talk you out of whatever idea that you may think will bring you happiness. They are convinced that your actions will have no benefit to your life and most importantly to theirs...WTH??? Really?? Pathetic, right? I don't get it either, so let's move on...
A Douchebag... will wander high and low and search the depths of the earth for the answer to this eminent question "How come we are not friends on Facebook?" The answer: Perhaps, may be located in the Dead Sea, so look there!!! Need I say more?
A Douchebag... is, still to this day, waiting for an apology. An apology for what? Who really knows?!! It's that entitlement mentality- that because you somehow hurt their feelings or something when you threw sand in their eyes when you were 3. Really?? Seriously?? They have professionals for this type of disorder.
A Douchebag... feeds on the H word- HATE!!! They hate you and they want you to know it, they even want you to Hate them! But come on, HATE is such a strong emotion and is a ball of useless energy to waste on someone you don't care for. Maybe it was because of the sandball incident, or because you did not ask to be their friend on Facebook, or you de-friended them because you smelled of their instant douchebaggery??? Who the hell knows...who the hell cares.
A Douchebag... is convinced you are insane but yet they are addicted to knowing your every move. They also scream obscenities at you in public and in the same breath will ask to have dinner with you. I've found myself trying to act more of a nut so they can keep their distance. This is when you flash them your straight-jacket while you are out dancing one night!!!
A Douchebag... revels in your discontentment, displeasure, and dissatisfaction. In other words, they enjoy seeing you unhappy. Whether it is their doing or not, they thank their Gods that you've run into some turmoil. (Beware, don't stay in this dissatisfied state for too long, you'd only be doing them a favor.)
A Douchebag... is the biggest bull$***ter, deceiver, and drama king/queen. On the days they decide to be your "friend" and that they've miraculously confessed they no longer "hate" you, it is quite easy for them to tell you how happy they are for you or that they want you to be happy or that you make them happy when their actions state otherwise. Be mindful of this sneaky behavior (see above description). This sometimes can be their bait to lure you into thinking they are on your side. They do this to sabotage you and their mission is to tear you apart, limb by limb. Be smart and don't repeat the mistake I have made in the past in giving individuals the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone has good intentions.
Alas, The "No DoucheBag Rule" is to be mindful of the douchebags and to stay as far away as possible from them in order to keep their toxicity away from you- "The only things that matter are whether your life was fulfilling and whether you loved the people around you the best way you knew how." (~Peter Michaud) Which goes without saying, treat people with respect and try to be a positive light to the people you connect with.
I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I only do the things I do because it makes my heart smile and I take life from a Deathbed Perspective. I am just ME. I would never force ME upon YOU. And if I can put a smile on anyone's heart, I've done a lot more than I expected.
Hugs to my peeps (the non-douchebags).
And thanks to the douchebags for giving me something to blog about. I hope I have inflated your ego a bit. :)
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i agree to this rule . when people who do nothing but try to bring you suddenly ask your opinion or offer or ask for help i am always wary of their intentions. im usually a great judge of character . i really try not to judge but if you smell a douge bag then you have no choice but to keep a wall up . not everybody deserves your love because they do not have the best intentions with what to do with it and usually end up using it against you. it took alot of pain to learn this rule sadly learning at a young age. but i strongly agree in what doesnt kill you makes you stronger and as always im rubber your glue what ever you say bounces off me and sticks to you =) love your new birthday rule
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