The Door that Separates The Doormat and Self-Respect

We all, at one point or another, were emotionally halted by someone in our lives who had a complete hold of our being, whether it be a significant other, a close friend, a family member, co-worker, or employer.  Now you're tired of being the person who everyone takes advantage of.  You are probably known to be the most forgiving and kind person, right?  You are the one most people request favors from because those around you know that you are always willing and able. You run their errands, you babysit, you drive people around town, and you even get volunteered for tasks without you knowing.  Others have taken your kindness as your weakness and now you are just about fed up or have been fed up for quite some time. But for some reason, you can't seem to shake them and their behavior from affecting your life.  Although we have a strong desire to cut the relationship altogether due to their toxic behavior, we just don't know how or when this will happen. If you don't have that energy-draining person in your life, kudos to you and that means you have managed to erase them from your circle. But you also know that you reached that point at some time in the past and you were questioning yourself the same question that most of us now face. When do we stop letting the other person use us as their daily doormat and start respecting ourselves?

Each one of us has a different concept of the word "value" and how much we "value" the relationship we have with the other person. How much we value the relationship also has a direct correlation to how much "mistreatment" we are willing to take to keep that relationship. Sometimes we will lose our selves unknowingly because we have a strong "hold" to whatever keeps us connected to the other person. So why haven't you let go?


People fear the concept of appearing "selfish" more than they want to embrace the concept of "self-respect". I'm guilty of it myself. We must all start looking after ourselves first and foremost. This doesn't mean that we are selfish, we just need to respect ourselves more. In talking with someone yesterday, I learned that we must ask ourselves a personal question, "When will enough be enough?" There should be a point where self-respect takes over; There is a door that separates the doormat and self-respect. If we continue to let that type of behavior continue, we will end up feeling resentful and disappointed with ourselves. We must tell ourselves at what point will we draw the line. After you have confirmed that with yourself, tell that person who has been that "dead wood" in your river of life at what point you will cut it off completely. Be serious about it and follow through, otherwise the other person will just call your bluff.


It is never okay to allow another being to slander you, degrade you, emotionally, verbally, and physically hurt you. Nor is it okay to allow them to take advantage of you and your abilities over and over. Setting healthy boundaries is important for your sanity and for those who don't understand limits until you mark it in chalk. Believe me, there are those out there. They may have the best intentions and they think they know you are okay with how things are going but never underestimate the power of honesty. Be upfront and honest about your demands of respect. Don't allow them to make you feel guilty about your decisions. If they clearly don't have enough respect for you to understand your wants and needs, end the relationship completely. "You" are the one you will be with for the rest of your life. Treat "You" with the utmost respect.

Hugs with loads of love!

Open Your Arms to Looking Good and Feeling Better

There's a lot to be said about looking good and feeling better!  The month of October is the perfect month to feel good about yourself.  Most of all, October just breathes "women empowerment"!  Of course, it's Breast Cancer Awareness month and this is an indication that we all should be taking good care of our health.  Then there's the sudden changing of the weather from running outside in my long tank dress and open-toed sandals to leggings and tops with 3/4 sleeves.  It's also a great month to play "dress-up" and I'm not just talking about Halloween.  I'm talking about SHOES!  Yes, ladies, s-h-o-e-s!  If you know me well enough, there are not a lot of things I collect, but put me in a shoe store and I get mesmerized!



I collect all types of shoes, from inexpensive to expensive, from horribly-fitting to oh-so-comfortable-I-can't-believe-I'm-wearing-shoes!  There's no better accessory on a woman than a great pair of shoes.  They have the ability to make you feel...so feminine...so powerful...so flirtatious!  My favorite kind of shoes are the sexy, won't break the bank, but feel great on your feet type (needless to say it's my hubby's fav, too)!  Believe me, my household consists of 1 youngin', 1 pre-teen, and 3 expensive teenagers, a husband who loves football betting, and a very hungry mini-greyhound- I simply CAN NOT afford to break the budget.



So about 6 months ago, I signed up for an online shoe membership/shoe stylist.  I took their style test and based on my results, my "shoe stylist" picks out a selection of 5-6 shoes for me to choose from each month.  The shoes are high quality but yet inexpensive!  Ahhhhh! There IS a Shoe God!  So what is the cost, you ask?  I am happy to say the cost of the monthly membership including the 1 pair of shoes each month is only $39 (that comes with free shipping and no additional fees or contracts).  I am also a fan of the 'Skip A Month' option, if I don't see a pair I like or if money is a little tight that month, I am under no obligation to buy.  Another awesome feature is to ask for a new selection of shoes if the first selection isn't to your liking.  I'm not a paid spokesperson for them so you'll have to check it out for yourself.  Go to www.shoedazzle.com !  What's important is that I look good and feel good at the same time!



Regardless if shoes are your 'thang' or not, let's re-invent October as Women Empowerment month!  You all deserve to look good and feel better!



Big hugz to your hearts!